Goodbye 2011

I didn't really want to write this post. I wanted 2011 to just quietly slip out of here.
It was a hard year for me. A lot of goodbyes.
I wish it had been alot of good buys. Unfortunately I didn't buy much of anything, another hard thing about 2011.
Goodbyes stink. And hurt.

But as with God, when I start to sit and think about all the hard things, He gently brings things to my mind that were from Him. The good things.
And I see that maybe even some of the goodbyes were from Him too.

He reminded me of a lot of fun amazing things that happened this year. Things I will want to remember about 2011.

So, I'm stealing the year of pictures idea from some other bloggers.
Hoping to look back on 2011, despite the bad, as a good year and not just let it slip away.
I hope you too, can look back on your 2011 and see, through some of the bad, that the hand of God was on you.

                                                                           January
This is one of those goodbyes I was talking about. Saying goodbye to this little guy almost broke me in half. But when i see this picture and remember this moment, I laugh. Our family had the best time being in his life and he changed us. For that I will always be thankful and grateful.

         February

My oldest is not naturally outgoing, so when she came to me and wanted to do her schools version of a beauty pageant, I was shocked. But also so excited and proud. First things first, she needed a dress. Here we are shopping for dresses. She wanted big! This is the dress we picked. Isn't it amazing. This was one of the funnest days. Watching her try on all those dresses was like a dream!

                                                                           
                                                                                March
Of course for that same beauty pageant she needed a talent. We came up with her reciting a poem. One we wrote together about herself. On the back of her t-shirt it says, ME! Here is the poem we wrote:

So, I have tried many things in the pursuit of finding me
Wondering just who it is I’m trying to be

At first it was soccer which seemed really fun
But ya know what, all they do is run

Then I thought ballet would teach me some grace
Um no, I still tend to end up on my face

Volleyball was the next sport I wanted to try
But every time I stood at that net, I just wanted to cry

Track, around and around and around we did run
Well, I was ready to be done after week one

Tennis, well that was easy, it was all about the cute skirt
But ow, those tennis balls, they really hurt

And even though swimming is the sport I still love best
I have never had the honor of a medal upon my chest

Now it’s a crown on my head my heart seeks
But man, this has been a really hard 3 weeks

Maybe I should stop all these things I am trying to be
And just give myself time to find the real me

                                                         

April

The snow finally melted and we decided to go on a famly hike on our property. I don't get outside much even though I love it. Well, kinda. Here is my youngest having so much fun and our dog bringing up the rear keeping us safe.

                                                                             May
My husband and I celebrated 18 years of marriage in May. Seriously amazing. Marriage is hard, but we're not giving up. The girls wanted to try on my wedding dress. I'm still hoping one of them will want to wear it on their wedding day. My oldest tried it on and said Uh no. And I agreed, it just wasn't her.

                                                                            June
My oldest did not win that pageant, but her experience was one of the most fun things she has ever done. God rewarded her though, as she was asked to fill in for one of the girls and be in a local parade. So fun! That's her, in the front on the left. She is waving to her sisters on the other side of the road. I was the crazy Mom running along side of the float taking pictures. We call it Momarazzi.

                                                                             July

The 3 girls have all been a part of our summer swimteam for the last few years. My middle daughter is amazing at just about any sport she does. In swim she has spent lots of time on the 2nd and 3rd place podiums, but never the top 1st place spot. Well that changed this summer. Here she is receiving her first 1st place gold medal! (And can we just acknowledge the size of the girl next to her) Wow!

                                                                  






                                                                             August
This should be another one of the bad things, but when I look back at how brave and good she was, going through this whole ordeal, I can't help but be so proud of her. Although to be honest i hate thinking about her tiny little bone be broken, but it gave me sympathy for those Moms going through such more horrible painful ordeals with their kids.

                                                                 

September

Bitter sweet the first day of school is. After being a homeschooling Mom for so many years, part of me still hurts at not keeping them with me all day. I miss them like crazy every day.

Such cuties.

October

Thsi was so fun! I got crafty. This was an old dresser that I sanded eeewwww and painted and put in my 2 youngest girls' room. I just love it and am now addicted and want to do more.

               


                                                                      November
Oh my goodness. Watching my middle daughter play basketball was such a highlight. She is amazing and a natural. I wish I could have filmed myself though, as I would get so excited and loud!  Those are 2 words that do not usually describe me. My husband said I was pretty funny to watch and I'm pretty sure I looked a fool. seriously. But it was just so fun! 
She is in the white uniform and getting ready to switch hands and go right around that girl gaurding her.

                                     







                                                                      December
I love Christmas morning every year. This year my middle daughter surprised us by coming down the stairs in the morning playing Jingle bells on the flute. It was so sweet. And look at little sis holding the book for her. My favorite memory from Christmas morning.

                                                                        

So, lots to be thankful for that's for sure!

Happy New Year friends.

God Bless!

My baby is 8

Today is my baby girl's birthday.
I am trying not to cry about it. When your baby is not a baby anymore, your heart kinda hurts.

She was a surprise 8 years and 9 months ago.
She was a surprise 8 years ago, as another girl!
And she surprises me still.

She is the only blonde in our family.
She is petite (don't call her skinny because she hates that).
She is bossy, opinionated, and knows just what she wants. I do love this about her even though it tests me as a mom, sometimes daily.
She loves watching the things her big sisters do and wants to be apart of everything. This tests her sisters, sometimes daily.
She loves animals. Last year she talked her dad into bringing our dog to school for show and tell. This week she has been begging asking me to bring in our cat.
She has big beautiful brown eyes. Just like her dad's. But don't tell her she looks like her dad because she will get mad because he is a boy.
She loves to read. She has wanted to read her Bible from beginning to end but just doesn't understand why it's so long and she forgets where she's at and what she read already and then wants to start back at the beginning again.........
She wanted noodles for her special dinner. noodles. that's it.


Happy Birthday 8 year old. You'll always be my baby.

being thankful for family even when it's hard

Happy Thanksgiving.

Most people look forward to spending this day with family. Some we don't see but once or twice a year and it's so fun catching up, giving hugs and kisses, and seeing how the little ones have grown.

But sometimes it's just plain hard.

Sometimes your the only Christian in your family. Your parents or grandparents, your aunts, uncles, cousins the people you have grown up loving and respecting just don't get you.
They cuss, drink, say the Lord's name in vain, argue, bicker, make fun of you........

They're lost.

And it's hard.
You try and be the light of Jesus. Love them where they are. Not judge. Not preach. Not become angry yourself. Wonder why you even bother coming.

My prayer for those of us that may be going through this is that Jesus knows. He's there too.

Jesus had a hard time himself when He went home.
"Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor."  Matt 13:57

May you see your lost family members as just that......lost.
May you see them through His eyes today.
May you be protected from the things that hurt.
May the Holy Spirit be upon you and the words of your mouth be from Him.

And those that have a house full of believers in Jesus, rejoice and be extra thankful today.

40

I turn 40 today. Sometime tonight around 7 pm actually. My Mom will call at the exact moment of my birth. The one constant i could always count on from her. It might not seem like much from a Mom but really it has always meant alot to me. And i know it does to her. She has always said that giving birth to me was  the one thing she got right.

okay I did not mean to make this into a sappy mom post.......

I really just wanted to share my Birthday with you all. All 2 of you that possibly will be reading this. And 1 of those is my sister.........

In honor of turning 40 I am doing a give away (giveaway?)
Maybelline's Great lash mascara (the pink and green tube) and Starbuck's also turned 40 this year, so that's my prize, mascara and coffee!

To enter:
Leave me a Birthday wish and if you are 40 or over, something great about being 40!


*** Contest closed. Winners were the 2 people that left comments...That's you Christy and
Mrs. Claus! ***
** But please feel free to leave me a 40th Birthdaywish and something great about turning 40! **

heartbreak

I went to work at the beginning of the school year.

I really don't consider it work, except for the 5:30 alarm clock and the fact that I am away from home everyday.
I get to go to my best friend's house and watch her grandson, her foster baby, her niece who is also a foster child,and any other little rugrats I can find in the afternoons.
I love it.
If I didn't miss my own girls so much (they all 3 go to public school now...which makes me think I need to change the name of my blog a little bit) I'd say it was the perfect situation.

So, the heartbreak.
The foster baby is 15 mos. old. I wish I could post a picture of him on here, he is so adorable. He has huge brown eyes with the longest lashes ever. They melt me.
I've known him since he was 3 mos. old. I started watching him everyday at 7 mos. old. I started taking him home with me at 11 mos. old. I fell in love with him somewhere along the way.

A few months ago my husband I started talking about becoming foster parents. With the main goal being able to be a real part of his life.
But we just talked about it.
This week I've learned that he is leaving.
I wish I could go into detail about the reasons, but it's so compicated, I don't think I even get it. Ofcourse my heart doesn't want to understand it at all.
He leaves Tuesday.
Today he walked for the first time, like real steps all the way to me. He is a little delayed physically, so this was a huge deal. He was so excited and so was I that we both were just laughing about it, and suddenly my laughter turned to sobs.
In my mind the last few months I have been trying to picture him being part of my family. Which my whole family has fallen in love too. Even my husband.
And now my mind has to picture never seeing him again. My mind can at times make sense of the situation and see that it will be best. But my heart does not.

Why do some people come into our lives and just grab us by the heart, only to leave all too soon?
I'm trusting God with this. What else can I do.

Would you pray for this little boy, for whatever God has in store for him. And for my heart these next few days........

Back in the saddle again

Name that tune......


Well.
It's been awhile. So long that I actually couldn't find the italic button for like 5 minutes.
Found it.

I wish I had words to explain my absence, besides just being too busy. I actually have been extremely busy, but it's been more than that.
I tend to be an all or nothing type of do-er. I hate rushing through things and feeling like I'm trying to cram it all in. The blog part of my life felt like that for the last 5 months or so. I'd still open it up and peak into most of your lives blogs but rarely comment.
But I'm realizing that my all or nothing personality hinders me. It doesn't have to be that way.

I haven't talked to my sister in months. 
I've been busy and I want to give her my time and energy and a clear head and right now I don't have any of that. But maybe all she's needed is an I love you.

I haven't written here because I can't seem to have one inspirational thought that makes any sort of sense and I really don't want to talk about my life as I feel so confused about where I'm at right now. But maybe all I needed to write was a scripture for the day, tell you all to have a great day, or write down that small funny thing one of my daughters did.

I don't have to give my all, only what I have.

gonna go write my sister now. And maybe leave a comment or two.