Ballet

When I was little my Aunt had a ballet studio. everytime I would visit her, I would borrow tights and a leotard and go to class with her.
I wish there was video of me attempting the class, because I'm sure it would be funny.
But I loved it.
I'm not sure if it was because I just loved my Aunt so much or if it was the music. There is just something so beautiful about classical music that just makes you feel like you're dancing so graceful, even though you aren't.


I have had all 3 daughters in ballet as soon as they can point their toes.

Daughter #1 was done with it around 8, no matter how much I begged her to keep trying, it just wasn't for her. So I agreed and we set off in search of the next thing for her.......

Daughter #2 loved it for the first couple years, but she is so active and competitive that ballet is just not really at her speed of things. Every year she says can I be done with ballet? But then she remembers something.

The recital!

Make up and glitter and a stage.
Those 3 things are right up her alley.

Daughter #3 seems like she might be the one to stick with it for a long time.
She is tiny and a perfectionist and has a long neck. ok her feet have a natural turn in, which actually is not all that great for ballet, but I force her to do turn out exercises daily.
not really, just kidding.

The day may come when all my girls stop going to ballet and I'll have to pack up the all the pink tights and leotards. And I'll hang all their tutus in my closet and pray for granddaughters.

But for now I have two beautiful, my idea of perfect, exactly what I always hoped for ballerinas.

Track

Remember when track first started and my daughter called home crying, a few times, and begged me to let her quit?

And I had to be that mean Mom and say No!

Sometimes being that mean Mom pays off.

Yesterday was a track meet and I got a call from a very happy girl who just wanted to call me and tell me how she got another  personal best time in the 100 yard race.
She was so happy and most importantly she was so proud of herself.

Of course her sister (the middle girl) kept trying to yell into the phone "Did you get first place? "
Because she's all about being first.

And no, she didn't get first, she most likely got last. But sometimes the race you have with yourself; your self doubting, scared, life's too hard self.....
means more than beating an actual other person.

I say it again, I am learning alot from this girl.

Death by chocolate

We have been talking about death.
It just seems to keep coming up.

First, our Mama cat has been missing for a week. When you live in the woods this is not a good sign. I finally had to tell the girls that she probably didn't make it.

Tears.

I tried to get them to picture her in Heaven sitting on Jesus' lap, and can't they just see the hint of a smile on her little whiskered face....
We then spent the next few nights talking about Heaven and dieing.
I don't want my girls to be afraid of dieing. We read in the Bible some scriptures about dieing.
To die is gain.........
Don't fear the first death, but fear instead the second.........
When Jesus says on the cross, today you will be with me Paradise...........

I think they felt a little better. They soon had a whole party going on up there with all our passed on pets.

Now my husband.
Lets just say he has been going through something.
About a week ago he woke up and felt extremely dizzy, weak and had a huge pain in a certain part of his head.
He thought maybe he was dieing.
He was in a car accident several years ago and hit his head, exactly where his head was hurting now.
I wasn't concerned.
he didn't really understand why I wasn't more concerned.
I tried to tell him how I knew God would tell me if something were really wrong. And honestly I knew he wasn't dieing. I just knew. Did I know what was going on though? No. Was God doing something? Maybe. Was it the flu? Maybe. Was it an attack from the enemy? Maybe. Was it a panic attack or migraine? Maybe.
All I know is that it was enough to scare him and make him realize that he was scared to die. And if he was scared to die than he realized he wasn't exactly right with God.
Because to die is gain............
There is no fear of the first death, but we need to fear the second death.........
What is scarey about being in Paradise.........

He's feeling fine now and we aren't really sure how to explain what happened to him. But he does have a new realization about his relationship with Jesus. I'm just praying It's a start to something bigger.


My daughter had a homework assignment this weekend.
To write her own obituary.
I said, "Oh how fun!" Because I think all her writing assignments are fun.
She was not that thrilled. "It's gross, who wants to think about themselves dieing?"
I was then like OK God what's with the theme this week?

So I tried to explain to her that it's not just about you dieing, it's about your life and how you want people to remember you and what you hope they will say about you.
I asked her how old does she hope lives to?

She said 100.

Ok and how do you want to go, something peaceful like in your sleep?

She said yeah and maybe eating chocolate!

I'm a little bit country

I was watching the CMA's last night with my oldest daughter.
She loves country music and has totally turned me, and now her Dad, onto it.

Can I just say Carrie Underwood's song....'Temporary home', made me cry. From her dress, to her own tears, the flower petals falling to the ground, and the words of that song. It was just a beautiful moment. And then at the end she quietly mouths Thank you Jesus. I just lost it.
Then she accepts her award and who does she thank? Not just Jesus, but her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
To have the privilege of being able to thank Jesus in front of that many people/peers and call Him your Lord and Savior, what a moment. 
I can only hope I would be so brave.

I just thought she deserved a shout out this morning. It was really beautiful.

I received my first blogger award!

Thank you Mrs. Claus at Like Christmas every single day

Don't you love the name of her blog! And she has candy names for her kids, I just love that!

Acknowledging this award seems kind of silly, but honestly it's like a great big hug of encouragement, and I'll take that any day.

My only requirement is that now I have to share 10 honest things about myself.

Here ya go.

1. I still lay with my 6 year old daughter at night until she falls asleep. I know she should be able to fall asleep by herself and it's good for her and all that, but I can't help it. She is just so darn cuddly and still has that lingering baby smell.

2. I sometimes sneak into my daughter's room and 'borrow' some of her fancy hair products, because I'm too cheap to buy some for myself.

3. I  sometimes have to bleach  the hair on a certain part of my face. 

4. I have a scar on my throat from a surgery I had when I was just a baby.

5. I sometimes dream about being a missionary.

6. I get embarrassed easily and my face turns red at the weirdest times.

7. I homeschool my 2 youngest daughters and somedays I absolutely hate it.

8. I have written 5 childrens' books, they are currently tucked away in a filing cabinet.

9. I struggle with my weight. But am currently working on it.

10. I secretly wish I had another baby. A little boy.

Now the fun part is, I get to give this award (hug) to 10 11 other bloggers.

1. Inside Out (this is my sister and her heart is amazing)

2. Carpool Queen               (  makes me laugh everyday)

3. Jewels in my crown.... someday     (  is sassy and fun)

4. La Vida Dulce           ( cute, crafty, and loves coffee )

5. Life at 7000 feet                    ( likes to clean like me )

6. Marla Taviano            ( love her books and her heart )

 7. Momma's Soapbox              ( love her 'Rugrats' story )

  8. Such the Spot( Cutest Mom ever, and lover of Disney )

9. There's no place like Home ( has a PINK fireplace mantel )

10. Dirty Shame                        ( wish he was my Pastor)

11. Surviving Motherhood (her love for Moms and Jesus)

OK, now go give these people some love and I hope they play along with this award because I really want to know 10 honest things about them they so deserve an award!

The last quarter

This is the first day of the last quarter of my daughter's Sophomore year.
This made me cry this morning.

I can be a little overly dramatic sometimes.

But sometimes I can't help but think about things from a....this will never be happening again....standpoint.

This day will never happen again.

It's an ordinary day really, but filled with so much meaning.
I want to be a part of every moment of her life.
The extraordinaire and the ordinary.

I want to teach her to take the time and be thankful for moments of the everyday and make them into something special.

As I tried to hide my tears from her, because I knew how ridiculous they were, she hugged me and said "It'll be okay Mom. We'll get through this."

I know she was mocking me, but she sure has some wisdom.


What everyday event can you turn into something special today?

My girls

I have 3 daughters.

They remind me daily that life is such a gift.

Road Trip

Me and the girls took a small road trip this weekend.

It was small in the sense that we only stayed one quick night at our destination, but the driving part was not small at all.

I love road trips with my girls.

For some reason my oldest and I have always had great conversations in the car. I guess having to keep our eyes on the road and the never ending drive seems to let us just talk and talk. Before we know it we're talking about important and sometimes awkward or embarrassing topics.

We also listen to tons of music. Everything from Classical to Country and Christian to Hip Hop.
(Hip Hop/Rap/Gangsta...? I have no idea)

When we get really bored we play a game with the music.

My daughter puts 6 random CD's in and we take turns picking a number from 1 to 6, and then another number from 1 to 12. (or however many a CD has on it)
and then that is the song we listen to.
It never fails to turn out funny or even special as to that particular song totally being about that person.

We had been playing this game for awhile on our trip and everyone was getting bored of it so we decided to stop. My oldest daughter had one turn left so she started fumbling around with the CD's and I think she was trying to put a different one in.
She was basically cheating, by knowing what CD it was and what song she was picking.

And the song?

Best day by Taylor Swift

If you know this song you'll know I was crying my eyes out. I felt like this had been one of the best days ever with my girls. But the fact that my daughter must have also been feeling that........well, words just can't describe.

Go listen to that song if you don't know it. It will remind you of your kids or maybe even your own Mom............

And bring on the next......

My oldest daughter is not what you'd call athletic.
But she tries.
She tried soccer when she was 5 and then again this year.

Last year she tried Tennis for the first time.

In Junior High she played one year of Volleyball.

She just finished her first year of wishing she could play managing the basketball team.

The ONE sport that has lasted is swimming. She has been  part of a summer swim  league for the past 5 years. I haven't talked about that much here, but trust me summer is coming and I will.

Yesterday she came home and said she signed up for track.
Then she started crying.

I tried to sound real upbeat and encouraging, because I knew that's what she needed.

She said she wanted to get in shape for swim this summer and at the time it sounded like a good idea. Run around a track all afternoon with some big scary guy coach yelling at you not to stop.
She had forgotten that it actually involved meets.
So we spent some time going over the events she could possibly do.

I made it clear that she was not to even attempt the hurdles.
That sounds mean, but just trust me.

We thought maybe the long jump. You land in a nice pile of soft sand.
She was too worried it would get in her hair.

She can't do any of the throwing events because she has a shoulder injury.
from swimming.

Finally we just started laughing.
I told her how amazing and brave I thought she was and that I love how I never know what to expect from her. And that I wish I could not take life or even my own limitations so seriously.

That night as she was going to bed, she yelled...
"Bring on the next!" in a strong confident voice.

All I can say is.......stay tuned.

The FUN plan

My oldest daughter has a friend who goes to a private school in California.

She is like some sort of genius or something.
She has been in public school and home schooled. When she took the WASL test and the SAT tests her scores were so high that people/schools/scholarship programs started calling. She received a full 4 year scholarship to this private school on the shores of Malibu or something.

We have no idea why she is friends with us.


Well actually I do.

My daughter is fun.

And even really smart, educated, know things I can't even fathom people need to have fun.

So, she was home this weekend and my daughter and 2 other girls were so excited to see her and have some fun with her.

Here is the problem.
We live in a very small, nothing to do, everything closes at 8 town.

So the girls came up with a brilliant plan.

The big town.

60 miles south is a large town with movie theaters, restaurants that actually stay open in the dark, and the MALL.....

So the 4 girls gather all us parents together and lay out their plan of action.
1 of the girls is 18, has a licence, a good driving record, very trustworthy, acts like an adult, respected in the community......

 this was part of their pitch. 

They wanted to be allowed to drive to this big town, get ice cream, go to the mall, and see a movie. A real movie that just came out, not one that's 2 months old and finally came to our town's 1 screen movie theater.

So, we let them.

The plan was for the girls to get home by 11 pm and all stay the night together.

I felt fine really.

Until I fell asleep in my chair because I was trying to stay awake so that at 11pm  I could call her and make sure they had made it home ok. And now it was 2 am and I had no idea if they were home, and maybe the other Mom also fell asleep in her chair and had no idea they were not home, and they were attacked in the dark parking lot after the movie, or slid  off the road from all the ice that had magically appeared............

It was rough.
I wasn't sure if I should try and call and wake the whole house up and look like a crazy Mom.

So I just slipped to my knees and prayed.

Not for my daughter, but for myself.

That I would trust the plans He has for her, and realize deep down in the very pit of my soul how much more He loves her than I ever could begin to imagine.

And it worked. I went to bed feeling full of peace and not like a crazy Mom on the verge of waking up the whole town.

Although I did call bright and early the next morning.

But instead of my daughter being extremely cranky for being woken up so early, she was so happy and thankful for being allowed to do something so fun last night.
She said her friends had the most amazing time and that the really smart, brilliant, genius friend had peed her pants on the way home because they were laughing so hard and were too scared to stop anywhere and get out of the car and use the bathroom.

I'd say my daughter's plan worked perfectly.

Ray Lewis is football player.

I'm not sure what team.

he had a rough upbringing, and maybe made some bad choices along the way.

I watched an interview of him yesterday.

He preached to me.


"Sometimes in life you don't get everything you want, but if you've got someone in your life that has given you everything you NEED, then don't complain."
Ray Lewis

I'm thinking of writing this in my daughter's room kitchen.

Blessings in the midst of trials

My husband is still out of work. He is a carpenter. Most of his work has been framing houses or millwork (trim and cabinet installation). He has worked for several different builders over the years. Some of those builders are completely out of business right now. Some have downsized their number of houses they build by over 75%. It's shocking really. He has been on unemployment for the first time in his 18 years of working.

His unemployment just ran out last week.

The President "ok'd" an extension of Emergency Unemployment Benefits recently. The only problem is, you have to apply by mail for this extension once your benefits run out, and it can take up to 4-6 weeks to get an answer.

Kinda defeats the purpose of this being an emergency, but I won't complain.

If he doesn't qualify for this extension, then yes, I will complain.

To who? I have no idea. Probably here, so consider yourself warned.

There have been some amazing blessings through this though.

I know that on the other side of all this we will be a different family. A better family. I am honestly trying my best not to rush God through this. Ohhh how I want to be on the other side of this, but I am still learning, I still see it everyday. So, I'm taking notes and storing them in my heart so they don't get lost.

Here's a couple:

Little things can leave the most amazing memories your children will cherish for their lifetime:
We rescued a kitten a little over a year ago. When she was old enough to need to be fixed, we didn't have the money, so I didn't do it. This last Fall she had kittens. 4 of them. 1 died a few days after birth. 1 was so tiny (the runt) that I feared we would lose it too. My youngest was determined to love that little one to life. She did. Every single day she would go to the garage and sit and hold it and and make sure it got it's spot to eat and would watch over it the whole time making sure none of the other 2 kittens pushed it around. It made it! And today you should see her and "Whittie", they are inseperable.
For Christmas we gave one kitten to my Mom, who's cat had just recently died. She says it was the best present she's ever received!
The other day my girls were playing with the cats and my youngest daughter started to quietly cry.
I asked her what was wrong.
She said nothing was wrong. She was just so happy and that having these kittens had made this the best year ever!
Of course that made me cry. I had just been feeling like this was the worst year ever.
not anymore. If I'd had the money at the time, I would have gotten the cat fixed and would have missed this event which turned into a huge blessing for my girls.

Food:
I have never been a huge junk food buyer. Like, I don't think I have ever bought a box of twinkies or anything hostessy. But we have in the past eaten very conviently. The freezer was always stocked with frozen burritos, eggos, hot pockets, fries......and the cupboards had cans of soup, crackers and chips. Easy quick to fix food.
Well if you've ever been on a grocery shopping budget you know that these type of items can be made by spending alot less money. Yes, I'm talking from scratch. I started slowly. The girls love pancakes and waffles for breakfast and I just couldn't afford to buy them all the time. So I started making them from scratch. Same for the fries. Do you realize how much stuff you can make from a .99 bag of potatoes? And the homemade fries are now a family favorite!
If you looked in our freezer now, you'd see only meat, some frozen fruit, and frozen bread. With the cupboards not holding so much quick snacky stuff, we eat tons more fruit and veggies. Basically because sometimes that's all there is to snack on.
I am by no means a healthy food expert but it does feel good to know I'm not putting so much processed food into my kids diets. My youngest gets headaches alot and my middle daughter has some attention/dyslexia issues. I can't say that these have gone away, but I can see a huge improvement with them. Is it the food? I don't know for sure, but my Mommy instinct says yes.
If our finances hadn't changed, I don't know that I would have changed our eating habits so much and I love the way my girls eat today.

Blessings in the midst of trials.

What blessing can you find from a trial in your life? They are there. We just need to make the choice to see them.


*disclaimer: I did not mean to start a debate in any of the following areas;
Unemployment
President Obama
PETA
Food choices

I realized after I wrote all this that these are very some touchy subjects now a days. I'm just trying to share the blessings our family is receiving through a hard time. So, PETA instead of telling me how irresponsible I am, how about tell me where I can get my cats fixed for free.
:)

Stolen Quotes

Here are a few little things that people have said out in blog land these past few weeks. For one reason or another they really stuck with me.

So I thought I'd share.




“Enjoy the little things, for one day, you may look back and realize
that they were the big things.”
- Robert Brault

Quote stolen from Centsational Girl


"There is so much freedom in doing what you love, even if I'm scared to death, and then trusting Him with the outcome."

Quote stolen from The Preacher's Wife


"I will forever be amazed at the power of words."

Quote stolen from Lysa TerKeurst


"I didn't say don't be scared, I said don't be afraid."

Quote stolen from Dirty Shame


 "I could see that each step I took on one path, gave me direction and wisdom for this new path."

Quote stolen from my sister Teresa


"Quiet whispers of encouragement can be a life-line to someone else."

Quote stolen from Kellie



I tried to make sure and leave a comment on these people's blogs asking permission to steal from them.

Any one of these speak to you like it did me?

crossroads

There are those moments in life when you can look back and see where your life was at a crossroad. A decision made that altered your path.
Sometimes when you're in the midst of it you don't realize how important a decision can be.

This is where we've been the last few days. At a crossroad.

My daughter's crossroad.

Am I going to let the world's views of what is normal and acceptable help me determine what I tell her?
Am I going to listen to that small convicting voice that's whispering to me?
Am I going to show my daughter how you let your actions match what your words have been?

Yes, this is all about a boy.

This has been the first real chance for my daughter to put Jesus first.
And it's been hard.

I wish it was always easy to walk with Jesus, but the plain truth is that sometimes it's just plain hard.

And He knows it.

This weekend,I watched my daughter put Jesus first. And though many tears were shed, it was the most amazing thing to see.

Soccer

My oldest daughter is not really athletic.

This is not an insult, just truth and she knows it.

She also tends to be a little clutsy. Kind of like the girl in the Princess Diaries movies. We call her that alot, Mia.

This does not stop her from trying though.

At the end of last year, she tried out for cheerleading. There was stiff competition and she had never even tried to learn or do a cheer in her life.

 She didn't make it. It was crushing.

But I had never been more proud of her. Seeing her try something new and obviously stepping out of her comfort zone, was amazing!

This year as school started, she had some friends who played soccer. There was not going to be  enough girls trying out for the team to make a JV team, so they were going around school trying to get girls to tryout.

Cue my daughter.

In her defense she has played soccer before.

When she was 5!

But she's a supporter and a help a friend in need kinda girl.

So, she borrowed some shin guards, bought some ugly shoes cleats, and signed right up.

It was a rough year for the JV team as it consisted of more than half the players not really wanting to be there and the other half having no idea what they were doing. But they were definately fun to watch.

We had the Soccer banquet the other night. I watched amazing videos and heard great stories of some really athletic and talented young ladies.                       

But my proudest moment?

Watching my daughter receive the Most Improved Player award!

We'll leave out the part where she almost tripped going up to receive it.

I didn't tell her, so let's go ahead and talk about her

I have not told my oldest daughter about this blog. And I'm okay with that. I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong. Someday when she's much older, she may even appreciate having her whole teenage life written down for the whole world to read. Right?

Moving on.

Homecoming is coming up this week at her H.S., the big football game and ofcourse the dance. She doesn't have a date...phew...
The boy that she was hoping would ask her, apparently says he's "not into dances......." Not sure what that means, except that I guess he's not going. But that isn't stopping her. She's still determined to go.

I love that about her.

When I was in High School I always seemed to be attracted to the boys who weren't into dances either. (that's weird)
So I didn't bother going. I apparently was too cool to admit I really wanted to go. I realize now it wasn't cool, it was scaredy cat.

Anyway, too cool or scaredy cat is not her. If there is fun to be had she will find a way to be a part of it.

I love that about her.

We went to town the other day.
(I love saying "went to town". It's like we're Little House on the Prairie and going into town is a big deal. Which it actually is, considering we live an hour away from the nearest mall.
We stopped at Ross (love Ross) and she found a dress for $11.00! Yes, a dress for a Homecoming dance for $11.00!

I love that about her.

I wish she didn't want to really even go to this dance. I know it's suppose to be fun and all, but I can't help wishing she just wanted to stay home and watch movies with me and have not an ounce of care about boys right now. It's so hard finding that balance of letting her have fun but then protecting her purity.
I know, I know it's just a dance.
But I also know it's hard to take Jesus to a highschool dance and I don't want her to leave Him at the door.
I have to believe she won't. And as she dances the night away that she'll remember how amazing she is and how much Jesus loves her.
I know she will.
I love that about her.

the real me

Well, I guess you might as well know the real me and not the me that I wish I was. I started this blog in September 2008. I thought it would be a great way for me to write about all the emotional stuff I was feeling about letting my daughter go to public school. Then here came the real me. The one that always second guesses herself, doubts, doesn't believe her ideas have any value............so I stopped the blog. I thought who is even going to read this? Why are you writing to nobody? Who does this? Fast forward to March 2009. I was looking for a website about publishing children's book (more on that someday) and somehow came across this blog http://tanyadennisbooks.com/ From that blog, I have found so many amazing blogs. Mostly Mothers like me who love to write, love Jesus, love people and friends. They just had the simple idea to write. To encourage. To laugh. To cry. I can't tell you enough how this has changed my life. Somedays I read exactly what I need that day. Other times they make me laugh and forget about wanting to cry. Alot of times they make me cry and help me put my own issues in perspective and I end up lifting them up in prayer instead of myself. I had a good idea. I just didn't believe in myself enough to do it.......the real me. I hope to keep blogging. Yes about my daughter's highschool experiences, I got alot to catch you up on..............and maybe more about myself. I really have no idea how to even run this blog yet, so I hope you won't mind the plainness. Thank you blogging women. here is just a few that I read every day: http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/ http://momsministryandmore.blogspot.com/ http://wannabepublished.blogspot.com/ http://coffeegal.blogspot.com/ http://carpoolqueen.wordpress.com/ http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/ http://www.marlataviano.com/