Last night my husband and I were sitting together on the couch sharing a bowl of popcorn. (actually we had our own bowls because we both love p.c. and end up fighting over the bowl)
We were watching Survivor.
All of a sudden I had a sharp pain in my mouth and then my tooth broke.
I spit one whole half of my tooth out into my hand and just sat there in shock looking at it.
Then I freaked out!
I was so mad. Like wanting to throw and kick and scream mad.
I think it was like how can things just keep piling up on me. Always something trying to bring me down.
I have no dental insurance.
I have no extra money to even attempt to pay for this.
I'm sure my dentist will let us make payments, but this is one of the last things I want to struggle to come up with a payment for right now.
I'm scared it's going to hurt to fix it.
This weekend is my daughter's 16th Birthday surprise little trip I have planned and I don't really have time to fix this right this minute.
It hurts and I don't know if I can eat with it like this.
I take really good care of my teeth, why did this happen.
I cried and tried to just go to bed so I didn't have to try and figure this out.
But my family wouldn't let me.
My two youngest were so worried about me and were crying as hard as I was.
Mom just does not lose it like this.
My husband was trying to get me to take some advil, but I couldn't because I was too scared to put anything in my mouth.
My oldest came running up stairs screaming "What's wrong?"
Mom just does not lose it like this.
So we prayed.
At first my prayers were for myself. Why? Why? Why? and How? How? How?
But then.
I got this image of Moms everywhere getting bad news today.
How does a Mom come home from a doctor appointment and look into her kids' eyes and tell them she has cancer?
How does a pregnant Mom get up from watching Survivor, go to the bathroom, and find she is bleeding?
How does a Mom get up from watching Survivor to answer the phone and get told her husband was just killed? How does she tell her kids?
How does a Mom tell her kids there is nothing for dinner and have to look into those eyes, helplessly.
My prayers changed rather quickly.
I was thankful for this moment of pain and more financial hardship because it reminds me once again how blessed I am.
It reminds me to let my heart be broken and pray for others.
So, I'm praying for others today.
Will you do the same?
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3 comments:
What a great post. You're so right about prayer changing our perspective.
I'm sorry about your tooth though. Really, really sorry.
I know that place of feeling like you can't handle even one more thing. But you know what? You can. And you will. And it may not be easy and yo may feel like God has abandoned you but He hasn't. I promise. Hang in there! I'll say a prayer for you.
I hope to meet you one day. Because, well, I really like you. You're good peeps.
PS. I hope the tooth thing is not too painful or expensive.
I'm late to the party, playing catch up here, but I add my condolences, and my admiration. Way to switch your thinking. God is so merciful. Yet, sometimes, it is hard to see unless we really pray for Him to reveal things like what you mentioned. Not why me?, but why not me.
((((((O Mom))))))
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