It's been good, but hard

4 days of school.

It feels more like 4 years.

These have been the slowest days of my life. Time seems to stand still waiting for them to be done each day.

My middle girl(4th grade) is adjusting well. She's had one bad day so far. They had taken a timed math quiz and everyone finished except for her. She was crushed.
I later talked to her teacher and told her about how upset she was. Her response was very comforting. She said that there were other kids who did not finish as well and that even if she was the only one who wouldn't have finished it would not concern her. This was just a small quiz to see where the kids were all at. She told me she felt honored to be her very first public school teacher ever, that's never happened to her before. She told me that my daughter is doing very well socially and is very polite and funny and she can tell she will have many friends.

I already knew this about her. Her social skills are not what I was worried about. It's the schooling part that has always been hard for her and she knows that about herself. We've been doing alot of praying about just being aware of it. Not worried about it.

My youngest daughter (1st grade) seems to be doing good too. She does not tell me a thing though and it drives me crazy. I get lots of yes and no answers, and I need details!
She is a little more quiet and reserved and I imagine her playing by herself at recess and not talking at all in class.
I did get to go have lunch with her on Friday! I was so excited that I forgot to take a picture and I couldn't even eat my own lunch I had packed. But I didn't cry when I gave her a hug goodbye!

Today is Saturday and I am so glad to just be home and relaxing, well cleaning, but that's like relaxing to me.
Except the part where I was cleaning the office, which has always been our school room. I wanted to take the small table out that the girls sometimes did school on. Last year, for my youngest daughter who was doing Kindergarten, I had taped this cute long piece of paper on the table that had the alphabet on it. When I started to take it off, I started crying. Big tears dropped as I kept peeling the paper off. Tears are dropping now as I write this.
It's been hard.
Questioning myself.
Missing them.
Feeling so out of the loop about their day.
Wanting things in our life to be different.

But I'm relying on Jesus each and every day.
And my girls have made me so proud as I've watched them handle this major change in their lives.

Here they are on the first day of school as I walked them to their classes and made them pose with their teachers!