Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Feeling Left Out

I still homeschool my two younger girls.

One is in 3rd grade this year.
The youngest starts Kindergarten. She is not happy about staying home.

"It's not fair, Mom."
"I want to go to school."
"It's a really nice classroom, why don't you like it?"

These are a few of the comments I have received from her this last week.

It doesn't help that her little B.F. is off to real school. She's feeling left out.

I totally understand.

Last year my middle daughter took a couple of classes that were offered by our homeschool program. While she was at her classes, my youngest daughter and I would go over to my friend's classroom. She teaches preschool. Preschool to special needs kids. I would help in the classroom and my youngest was considered a typical peer. She basically played and set an example of behavior.

 (Yah right...)

Anyway, we fell in love with this class. I did anyway. At first it was totally overwhelming and I spent many afternoons in tears. I felt so blessed to have 3 healthy, no serious problemed kids. I felt so sorry for these little ones trying to learn and do basic things that I had just expected from my own kids.
The sympathy didn't last long though. As I got to know each one I realized how amazing they each were.
So smart and loving and determined and inspiring.
I basically fell in love with each and every one of them.

This year my friend asked me to come back to her classroom and help.
Only, she wanted me to come everyday.
I would have to put the girls in school though, to be able to do that.
I wanted to. I thought hard about it. Made lists. Made more lists.

I couldn't do it.
Not yet anyway.

But I feel that seed of something amazing God has planted in me. It reminds me of how much He knows me. Better than I know myself, most days. I love His unexpected, totally what I needed gifts.

So, we'll try not to feel left out this year. Hopefully she and I will have an amazing year together. We'll let God work out our future. He's so much better at it than I am.


Irritable Mother said...

"He's so much better at it than I am."
You can say that again!
I know it's true, so why do I fight Him on it so often??? *sheepish grin*
Here's to a wonderful year for you and your precious daughter.

Stonefox said...

I know what it is like feeling left out and so do my kids...not always a good feeling. But I can so relate to what you said about the amazing thing God plants inside. He does that too. In one way, His plan draws us back from what everyone else is doing...and on the other hand, He plants more of HIMSELF inside and wow, it makes the price worth it!

Gretchen said...

Thank you for visiting my blog. I think our culture is inherent in making us feel left out or not enough in so many situations. I have felt the same way. But you're right about going to God and listening to His gently whispered plans. And waiting on Him. I'm not so good at that part.