Thursday, April 29, 2010


Remember when track first started and my daughter called home crying, a few times, and begged me to let her quit?

And I had to be that mean Mom and say No!

Sometimes being that mean Mom pays off.

Yesterday was a track meet and I got a call from a very happy girl who just wanted to call me and tell me how she got another  personal best time in the 100 yard race.
She was so happy and most importantly she was so proud of herself.

Of course her sister (the middle girl) kept trying to yell into the phone "Did you get first place? "
Because she's all about being first.

And no, she didn't get first, she most likely got last. But sometimes the race you have with yourself; your self doubting, scared, life's too hard self.....
means more than beating an actual other person.

I say it again, I am learning alot from this girl.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I'm still tired and overwhelmed.

Just being honest.

I want to be able to say that yesterday after I put worship music on, told Satan to get behind me, and read just what I needed to from His word that everything got right in my world.
But it didn't.

And that's ok.
I know that becoming a Christian hasn't meant my troubles have gone away. Quite the opposite really.
But those troubles, well, they just make me long for Heaven even more.

I am not usualy a downer type of person. My faith has gotten me through some tough things. So I started thinking about my faith yesterday and was reminded of exactly what faith is.
It is believing something that you don't see.
You can't possibly see the answer. Can't see it. Nowhere. Impossible. Not gonna happen.
I have a few things in my life right now that I see no way out of. Impossible outcomes.
I have to live my life like a crazy person. Live like I want things to be not how they are. Not denial, but delusional....maybe. That's what the world would say if they could get into my mind and see how I'm picturing things as they are.

I just forgot yesterday. Or maybe it is a little tiring when you're trying to figure it out all by yourself. It took most of yesterday before I would let Jesus talk to me. And He knew it and He just patiently waited. Finally I heard Him say count. Count your blessings, name them one by one. And if your problem list out weighs your blessing list, well then come talk to me.

So I started counting and I named them one by one. Every little thing that has made me smile since giving my life to Him.
And I'm sure you can guess that there wasn't enough paper or time in the day to write them all down.

And alot of those blessings are things I could never have imagined happening or seen coming.

I am still tired and overwhelmed. But that just means my measure of faith must be big.

And if I am ever shopping with you someday and I'm trying on size 6 clothes, just know I'm living life by faith not by sight!

Monday, April 26, 2010


I'm feeling overly tired today.

Not lack of sleep tired, but tired of things.

I'm tired of being on a constant budget for food and gas only to find I never stay on budget.

I'm tired of everytime I think we are getting caught up, there is an unexpected expense that just puts us further and further behind.

I'm tired of sending resume after resume for my husband and not hearing a single word.

I'm tired of my husband's lack of desire to go to church, to just live for Him......

I'm tired of my oldest daughter's schedule. She's just go go go......

I'm tired of feeling guilty when I can't take her somewhere or get her something she needs.

I'm tired of staring at my calendar making sure I don't miss a scheduled payment or a scheduled date.

I'm tired of caring more about what the world thinks of me than what Jesus thinks of me.

I'm sorry. It's just been one of those mornings. I thought maybe if I wrote it all down and told myself I was going to publish it, that it would make me realize how faithless I am being. That it's just all silly stuff and I'd realize how blessed I am.
I do feel blessed.
I do have faith that someday none of this will matter and that Jesus is in control.

But right now it does still stink. I am still tired. And scared and confused.
How can I be of any use to the Kingdom of Heaven if I feel so tired and burdened? I can't seem to see through the fog that this is all for His glory. I can't seem to say "Praise the Lord...we're out of toilet paper...."

I'm going to go read some things now. Things about missionaries, child pornography, Compassion, misscarriages, cancer.........
And cry my eyes out and tell Jesus I'm sorry.
And hopefully be back tomorrow seeing my life through His eyes.

Sorry if things are spelled wrong. I'm also too tired to spell check.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

How I met my house

I am joining
 today in what seems like a fun party!
How I met my house.
Go check out the other house 'Love stories'

We have lived here for 6 plus years. I was pregnant with our youngest daughter when we moved.
I do not recommend moving while you are pregnant if you can avoid it.

We lived on the other side of Washington State our whole lives and never thought about moving anywhere else until my husband started taking hunting trips to the Eastern side of the state.
He would come home and talk about how neat it was over there and how cheap the property was, compared to the prices of property where we lived.

So we started praying.

There were some problems with the property we had at the time and the county was going to charge us tons of money to fix it, and we realized all the money would be gone that we were planning on using to build our home.
During this time we got a letter in the mail from a realtor asking us if we would be willing to sell our place, as she had clients who wanted it.

That was crazy weird.

So we went over to look at property, well I went once because I was pregnant and tromping around land was not that fun.
On one trip over to see property, my husband met the realtor at his house and they set off to drive around all day to look at pieces of land that we had requested. On the way the realtor asked if he would mind stopping at another peice of property he had for sale as he was supposed to meet some other clients there to sign papers, as they were buying it.
When they got there, my husband really liked the property, but it was already sold.
2 weeks later, and back home, my husband was on the phone with the realtor and they started talking about that property. Turns out the other couple had to back out for some reason, and the property was for sale again.
My husband made an offer right then and there and then came to tell me about it.
I was a little freaked out, but I knew that God had planned the whole thing, so I just smiled and said....what do we do next?

There's a whole crazy story filling in the following year, living with my in-laws, having our 3rd daughter, moving across the state, living together in a 1 room cabin...........but we made it.

We picked our house plans out of a cabin book, mostly because we were looking for something unique and affordable. My husband built the whole thing by himself, with exception to the metal roof and the electrical and plumbing. He made us so proud!

Here is our house from 2 winters ago. I could not find a current one without snow. But i love this picture.

And here is our view, this looks to be around spring time.

Go over and enjoy some more house stories!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I hate Bad Mom days

Yesterday we went to Ballet, which my two younger girls do, and I forgot my middle girl's inhaler. She was diagnosed with sports induced asthma last summer.

Which just makes me so upset becasue she is my athlete.

I also forgot her ace bandage that the doctor told me to wrap her foot with during ballet, she hurt her foot awhile back and it's just not healing right.

So half way through ballet she came looking for me, I was over at the library(It's right next door to the dance studio) sitting reading a People magazine. She came running/hopping in, loudly banging the library door as she yelled for me. I think every person (other Moms) in there heard her say,

"Mom do you have my inhaler... I can't breath!"
(Don't worry, she can breath, she doesn't have asthma that bad but she was weezing a bit)
"And my foot hurts do you have my wrap? "

Ummmm No. And No.

" Well that's just great." As she marched/limped back to ballet.

Yep, just another one of those bad Mom days.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Death by chocolate

We have been talking about death.
It just seems to keep coming up.

First, our Mama cat has been missing for a week. When you live in the woods this is not a good sign. I finally had to tell the girls that she probably didn't make it.


I tried to get them to picture her in Heaven sitting on Jesus' lap, and can't they just see the hint of a smile on her little whiskered face....
We then spent the next few nights talking about Heaven and dieing.
I don't want my girls to be afraid of dieing. We read in the Bible some scriptures about dieing.
To die is gain.........
Don't fear the first death, but fear instead the second.........
When Jesus says on the cross, today you will be with me Paradise...........

I think they felt a little better. They soon had a whole party going on up there with all our passed on pets.

Now my husband.
Lets just say he has been going through something.
About a week ago he woke up and felt extremely dizzy, weak and had a huge pain in a certain part of his head.
He thought maybe he was dieing.
He was in a car accident several years ago and hit his head, exactly where his head was hurting now.
I wasn't concerned.
he didn't really understand why I wasn't more concerned.
I tried to tell him how I knew God would tell me if something were really wrong. And honestly I knew he wasn't dieing. I just knew. Did I know what was going on though? No. Was God doing something? Maybe. Was it the flu? Maybe. Was it an attack from the enemy? Maybe. Was it a panic attack or migraine? Maybe.
All I know is that it was enough to scare him and make him realize that he was scared to die. And if he was scared to die than he realized he wasn't exactly right with God.
Because to die is gain............
There is no fear of the first death, but we need to fear the second death.........
What is scarey about being in Paradise.........

He's feeling fine now and we aren't really sure how to explain what happened to him. But he does have a new realization about his relationship with Jesus. I'm just praying It's a start to something bigger.

My daughter had a homework assignment this weekend.
To write her own obituary.
I said, "Oh how fun!" Because I think all her writing assignments are fun.
She was not that thrilled. "It's gross, who wants to think about themselves dieing?"
I was then like OK God what's with the theme this week?

So I tried to explain to her that it's not just about you dieing, it's about your life and how you want people to remember you and what you hope they will say about you.
I asked her how old does she hope lives to?

She said 100.

Ok and how do you want to go, something peaceful like in your sleep?

She said yeah and maybe eating chocolate!

Monday, April 19, 2010

I'm a little bit country

I was watching the CMA's last night with my oldest daughter.
She loves country music and has totally turned me, and now her Dad, onto it.

Can I just say Carrie Underwood's song....'Temporary home', made me cry. From her dress, to her own tears, the flower petals falling to the ground, and the words of that song. It was just a beautiful moment. And then at the end she quietly mouths Thank you Jesus. I just lost it.
Then she accepts her award and who does she thank? Not just Jesus, but her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
To have the privilege of being able to thank Jesus in front of that many people/peers and call Him your Lord and Savior, what a moment. 
I can only hope I would be so brave.

I just thought she deserved a shout out this morning. It was really beautiful.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Again about the turkey

My husband did get his turkey yesterday.

I was going to post a picture, but I didn't want to upset anyone by showing a dead bird on this blog.

The pictures are pretty funny though. The ones with our 2 youngest daughters posing in them. First of all it's 6:00 in the morning and their bed head is at it's finest. My middle daughter is in  her P.J.'s, ski coat, blue socks, and silver dress shoes. But the smile on her face and the thumbs up she is giving the camera is priceless!
My youngest daughter who isn't quite as smiley, because she was still sleeping and almost missed the whole thing, and her sister already took pictures without her.....It must be hard being the youngest sometimes. But she does have her arm around her Dad and is leaning her sweet little bed head on his big shoulder, as if to say, Dad I'm so proud of you!

We are girlie girls. We don't hunt, none of us have ever shot a gun. My middle daughter sometimes acts like she might want to, but then says no. We do however, support our man. Because he loves it. The whole reason we live where we do is because of hunting trips he used to take here, and he would come home and talk about how beautiful it was, and how much wildlife there was here. Yesterday he hunted in our own backyard.

There are alot of wild turkeys here. You are allowed 2 turkeys in the spring and then sometimes, when there is an abundance of them, they allow you 1 more in the fall. We don't eat them like you eat a traditional turkey from the store. We only eat the breast meat, which my husband usually smokes in the smoker and we eat it on sandwiches. I don't really like it that much, it can be tough and it does taste a little different than my deli turkey, but again I'm all about supporting my man.
Karen reminded me, so well yesterday, how God just put those differences in men. To hunt and gather and provide for their family. I know not all men hunt, but it's still there by the way they naturally work and provide for their families. I love seeing that, how God made us, men and women, so different. It's ok that I don't really get what he finds so exciting about hunting and why the length of the turkeys beard (yes, they have these weird beards)is so important. And It's ok that he doesn't get why I need 3 different brooms and 10 pillows on the bed.

It was so nice to see my husband excited about something. It's been a tough year for him. God put that desire in him to be the provider for his family, and not being able to do that in the way he is used to, has changed him a little.
I have seen God moving in his life though, and I can only hope and pray that even this tough part of his life is all part of God's perfect plan for him.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Turkey Lurkey

Today is the opening day of Turkey hunting in our neck of the woods.

My husband was up at 4:30 this morning and even made his own coffee. He then went to sit outside in the woods and wait.

Turkeys can fly. Did you know that?

They roost (I almost typed roast, ha ha!) up in trees at night and then sail down through the air in the morning.

That's what he's waiting for.

He's got some wings he made so he can imitate the sound of a flying turkey, in hopes that it will attract another one, he's got some little wood thing that looks like a toy, and it makes this loud screechy noise that apparently is supposed to sound like a female turkey.

Why am I telling you all this?

I have no idea.

I guess it's just what's going on around here today.

Happy Turkey day.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I received my first blogger award!

Thank you Mrs. Claus at Like Christmas every single day
Don't you love the name of her blog! And she has candy names for her kids, I just love that!
Acknowledging this award seems kind of silly, but honestly it's like a great big hug of encouragement, and I'll take that any day.

My only requirement is that now I have to share 10 honest things about myself.

Here ya go.

1. I still lay with my 6 year old daughter at night until she falls asleep. I know she should be able to fall asleep by herself and it's good for her and all that, but I can't help it. She is just so darn cuddly and still has that lingering baby smell.

2. I sometimes sneak into my daughter's room and 'borrow' some of her fancy hair products, because I'm too cheap to buy some for myself.

3. I  sometimes have to bleach  the hair on a certain part of my face. 

4. I have a scar on my throat from a surgery I had when I was just a baby.

5. I sometimes dream about being a missionary.

6. I get embarrassed easily and my face turns red at the weirdest times.

7. I homeschool my 2 youngest daughters and somedays I absolutely hate it.

8. I have written 5 childrens' books, they are currently tucked away in a filing cabinet.

9. I struggle with my weight. But am currently working on it.

10. I secretly wish I had another baby. A little boy.

Now the fun part is, I get to give this award (hug) to 10 11 other bloggers.

1. Inside Out (this is my sister and her heart is amazing)
2. Carpool Queen               (  makes me laugh everyday)
3. Jewels in my crown.... someday     (  is sassy and fun)
4. La Vida Dulce           ( cute, crafty, and loves coffee )
5. Life at 7000 feet                    ( likes to clean like me )
6. Marla Taviano            ( love her books and her heart )
 7. Momma's Soapbox              ( love her 'Rugrats' story )
  8. Such the Spot( Cutest Mom ever, and lover of Disney )
9. There's no place like Home ( has a PINK fireplace mantel )
10. Dirty Shame                        ( wish he was my Pastor)
11. Surviving Motherhood (her love for Moms and Jesus)

OK, now go give these people some love and I hope they play along with this award because I really want to know 10 honest things about them they so deserve an award!

Monday, April 12, 2010

The last quarter

This is the first day of the last quarter of my daughter's Sophomore year.
This made me cry this morning.

I can be a little overly dramatic sometimes.

But sometimes I can't help but think about things from a....this will never be happening again....standpoint.

This day will never happen again.

It's an ordinary day really, but filled with so much meaning.
I want to be a part of every moment of her life.
The extraordinaire and the ordinary.

I want to teach her to take the time and be thankful for moments of the everyday and make them into something special.

As I tried to hide my tears from her, because I knew how ridiculous they were, she hugged me and said "It'll be okay Mom. We'll get through this."

I know she was mocking me, but she sure has some wisdom.

What everyday event can you turn into something special today?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The 10th?

How is it possibly the 10th of April already?

10 things I wonder about.

1. What do the letters W I F I stand for in Free Wi Fi?

2. Why did the loaf of bread I always buy get smaller and the price go up?

3. Why is Diesel fuel more expensive than regular fuel, when it used to      always  be cheaper?

4. Why do you have to dissect a frog in order to graduate from high school?

5. Why was I not paying better attention when we  I named our youngest daughter?  Her initials are I.R.S.

6. Why am I rooting for the villians on Survivor?

7. How come I don't like texting?

8. How come I thought plucking out the gray hairs on top of my head was a good idea? Because now instead of a few long gray hairs neatly hidden amongst my other hairs I have these tiny, curly, standing straight up, gray hairs on top of my head.

9. If I use sunless tanner and age spot remover cream on my face at the same time what do you think will happen?

10. Ok, your turn. What makes you go hmmm...............

Please feel free to answer any of these for me!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

My girls

I have 3 daughters.

They remind me daily that life is such a gift.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I saw Jesus at the Easter egg hunt

Saturday our small town had their annual Easter egg hunt in the city park.

I haven't always been a huge fan of these types of events, but it was free and our friends were going so I thought it might be fun. Plus it was free eggs and candy for the kids. It was also free.
sorry I'm just on such a budget these days that the word free makes me very happy.

They had the park sectioned off by age groups.
My youngest was in the 4 to 6 year old area and I had to stay with her because there was someone dressed up as the Easter bunny, and she was having a complete panic attack whenever he came to close to her.

Here's where I first saw Jesus.
We were standing around waiting for the whistle to go off when I hear my oldest daughter say "Mom, what is Dad doing here?"
I turned to look across the park where she was pointing and I see him, in all his camo glory, walking across the park waving to us.
I wanted to cry. Happy tears.
You see my husband just doesn't do these types of things with us. I'm not really sure why. Years ago he would have, but somewhere along something in him changed. He just usually lets me do all the busy activities with the girls. So seeing him there I knew he came just for the girls, and that made my heart so happy.
I saw Jesus in  my husband that day.

So, off my husband went to be with my middle daughter who was across the park in the 7 to 10 year old section. I was a little worried about her because it semed to be the largest group. Lots of 10 year old boys who looked like they were getting ready to go to battle.
This is why I usually don't like these types of things.
She did have her friend who was actually one of those 10 year old boys, but I thought maybe he would look out for her.

The whistle blew, and off they went. The 4 to 6 year olds were hillarious! Some knew just what to do, some ran straight across the park thinking this was some kind of race, a couple started crying while their parent kept yelling at them to just pick up an egg. It was comical that's for sure, and it was over in like 60 seconds.

Here's where I saw Jesus again.
As we walked to meet my husband and my middle daughter, someone told me that her friend (the 10 year old boy) was crying. Apparently he had gotten pushed and his bag fell, spilling all his eggs. The 2 boys that had pushed him then grabbed all his eggs. When I met my daughter I told her what happened and asked her if she could share a couple of her eggs with him. She got this look on her face, like she was thinking about it. Then she looked at me and asked, "Mom can I just give him my whole bag?"
I couldn't believe it. I said "It's your bag, you may do whatever you want to do."
I was trying to keep it together and act like this was just an everyday act, but I knew it was so much more. I was seeing Jesus in my daughter.

The look on his face when she went over and gave him her bag was amazing. And his Mom, my very best friend, had a complete meltdown. She of course made the scene that my daughter so deserved, and made sure everyone around us knew what she did. I knew it would have been ok too if she had done it quietly and hadn't been recognized for her action, because that just would have been a treasure she stored in Heaven. But it was amazing to see her loved on like that.

My husband and my middle daughter showed me Jesus this weekend. They reminded me that it sometimes is just the small selfless acts of life that can be the biggest picture of Jesus to people.

And my youngest had known exactly what to do when that whistle had blown, so we still went home with plenty of free eggs!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Not too busy

We have been busy this week.
It's been spring break.
I almost capitalized spring, then I heard June screaming at me.

We've played at friends' houses, shopped, went to the movies, went to an indoor waterslide park, laughed, ate, came home late, and on and on and on.......

But it seems in all the fun we're having, every so often I would hear a small whisper.
It was Him.
He wasn't upset that I was doing so much or having so much fun that had nothing to do with what He went through this week so many years ago.
No, He was laughing with me and just reminding me that it was why He did it all. So that I could have life. I was having fun but I know that it's the kind of fun that only lasts for a moment. The joy that comes from Him lasts forever.

I wasn't too busy to have my moments with Him.

I wasn't too busy to hug my daughters and look into their eyes and see Jesus there.
I wasn't too busy to thank my friends for being there and feel Jesus in their hug.
I wasn't to busy to put a band aid on a scraped knee and think about His blood.
I wasn't too busy to share a meal with our friends and think about His last meal.
I wasn't too busy to comfort my crying child and feel Mary's pain as she watched her son die.

Thank you Jesus for being in my busy week and not letting me forget.