Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Aloha. That means hello and goodbye.

My oldest daughter is off to Hawaii.
Her Grandparents took her and my sister's daughter.

I just spoke to her as she was about to step onto the plane.
She's never been on an airplane before.
She's never been away from home for 2 weeks before.
She's never experienced so much newness before without me by her side.

If my posts are a little sappy the next 2 weeks you'll know why.

I'll be missing her like crazy.


Thursday, June 24, 2010

He used a thunder and lightning storm to remind me

Last night we went to bed.
All of us.
At about 7pm.
We have been leaving the house at 6 am every morning.
My husband to a job. Yes, Prasie God!
And the rest of us to go swimming.

Yes I said swimmimg, at that ridiculous hour of sunrise.
The girls are all on a summer swimteam and that's just when they practice. We have been doing it for 6 years so it seems so normal to me. But typing it just now reminded me of how crazy it really is.

We were all in bed, most of us sleeping, when an amazing storm started.
It was amazing because the lightning was so bright and doing crazy things to the sky. And the thunder? It was loud and long.
It woke me up.
Then it woke my middle daughter up.
She was scared so I got up to go lay with her.

I love thunder and lightning storms. Sometimes they still make me a little nervous though.
I once heard someone describe it as God showing us a glimpse of His power.
I love that.
I was trying to soothe my daughter by telling her it was okay and that it was just God's power and to think about how amazingly huge and powerful He is.
I was also trying to get her to go right back to sleep.

But my husband wanted her to come watch the storm with him.

I kept saying NO.
She needed to go to sleep. We have to get up at crack of ridiculous dawn  5:45am. Absolutely not!

Then I heard it.
That small whisper of the Lord's voice.
He was reminding me of the way I want to live.
The way I say I want to live.

Life isn't about schedules, and keeping appointments, and my rule book.

It's about experiences and moments and opportunities.
And they usually happen right when you are trying to keep things running smoothly and on your own time schedule.

So I stopped worrying about tomorrow, because sometimes tomorrow never comes.
I let my daughter get up out of bed and go get in bed with her Dad and lay the wrong way in the bed and watch God's amazing power be displayed as if it were just for them.

I stayed in her bed and listened to them talk about the storm and about God and didn't worry one bit about her being tired in the morning. I prayed that God would keep reminding me of how I say I want to live and that I will actually do it.

Hoping you seize the moments today.

Friday, June 18, 2010


When I was little my Aunt had a ballet studio. everytime I would visit her, I would borrow tights and a leotard and go to class with her.
I wish there was video of me attempting the class, because I'm sure it would be funny.
But I loved it.
I'm not sure if it was because I just loved my Aunt so much or if it was the music. There is just something so beautiful about classical music that just makes you feel like you're dancing so graceful, even though you aren't.

I have had all 3 daughters in ballet as soon as they can point their toes.

Daughter #1 was done with it around 8, no matter how much I begged her to keep trying, it just wasn't for her. So I agreed and we set off in search of the next thing for her.......

Daughter #2 loved it for the first couple years, but she is so active and competitive that ballet is just not really at her speed of things. Every year she says can I be done with ballet? But then she remembers something.

The recital!

Make up and glitter and a stage.
Those 3 things are right up her alley.

Daughter #3 seems like she might be the one to stick with it for a long time.
She is tiny and a perfectionist and has a long neck. ok her feet have a natural turn in, which actually is not all that great for ballet, but I force her to do turn out exercises daily.
not really, just kidding.

The day may come when all my girls stop going to ballet and I'll have to pack up the all the pink tights and leotards. And I'll hang all their tutus in my closet and pray for granddaughters.

But for now I have two beautiful, my idea of perfect, exactly what I always hoped for ballerinas.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I have been MTA

I was going to say MIA, but I'm not really missing in action, I'm missing the action. As in having no time to read all your blogs!

I have worked sat and cuddled not just 1 beautiful baby boy this past two weeks, but 2!
I am in baby heaven.

But I'm missing all your news and missing writing about things here, but will catch up when I can.

But I had to post at least this lame post because it's getting me closer to my 100th post!
You know, the one where I get to list 100 things about myself!
Aren't you so excited?

ha ha!
We's really all about talking about ourselves.........right?

Friday, June 11, 2010

My Step-Mom Mom sent me this in an email this morning and it made me cry.
Maybe because I am so busy right now, which is not really me living in my most comfortable personality. And when I am overly busy I get nervous that I am missing the things that are the most amazing and truly important in my life.

I'm hoping that I am still taking the time to enjoy life and to see life. And that I'll have time to be back here soon and share.

The following article may not even be true. But it could be.

Interesting..........and a truth to ponder.



Something To Think About...


In Washington, DC, at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About 4 minutes later:

The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At 6 minutes:

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At 10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:

The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After 1 hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.

This experiment raised several questions:

In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

If so, do we stop to appreciate it?

Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made...

How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

Friday, June 4, 2010

Love & War. What I really learned.

I'm hoping this book did change my life. I know it did right this minute, but I'm hoping I still hold some of these lessons close, years from now.

Because the main thing I learned is that marriage is hard.
ok, I already knew that.

But even though I already knew that, it's like I've been waiting for it to get not hard.
It's just going to be hard. To the end.
I just need to learn how to deal with the harder times in a way that brings us through them, so that the better times are so wonderful they make you remember why your fighting for this marriage.

Their top 3 things that would most help a marriage.

1. Find life in God. 
2. Deal with your brokenness. 
3. Learn to shut down the spiritual attacks that come against your marriage.

I feel good about #1. I have found my life in God and Him alone. I thought maybe that was enough. And it is really, but marriage is such a unique amazing thing that there is just more to it.

I felt like I had dealt with my brokenness. Forgiving others, myself, moved on from it....But I never really put how my brokenness has made me deal with things. Things like fear, doubt, self reliance.....The way I deal with alot of things in my marriage are direct results from my brokenness and God wants me to change and deal with them the way He wants and knows is best.
This hurts and is hard. But the fact that He has opened my eyes to it, tells me I can do it.

I have always known that the enemy has wanted to attack my marriage. It's funny though before I read this book I thought the title, Love & War, was about a marrige that had love in it and war in it. The war they're talking about is the enemy.
He is waging a war against us. Constantly.
We forgot this a little bit. More often than not we have been fighting eachother instead of the enemy.

Satan hates marriage.
His first attack, was to destroy Adam and Eve's marriage.
That gave me chills when I read that.  When I realized it was all to destroy the marriage.

Praying together.

When your upset with your husband praying with him is the last thing you want to do with him.

Praying together is an intimate encounter; it will cultivate intimacy and companionship in your marriage--we are in this together.    It's like sex.
pg. 128

Wow, I never thought about how intimate praying together really is with your spouse. But it's so true. I know that when we have taken the moment to hold hands and bow are heads together and agree to pray and ask God what to do, it draws us so close. I always want to hug him or crawl in his lap and cling to him so that I don't lose this moment we're having.

I can see this is an area we need to work on. Making a conscience effort to bring everything to God right now. We are easily worked up when we are just trying to discuss the simplest of things, which is exactly satan's plan, so I'm hoping to realize this quicker and just stop and pray together. About everything.

Love & War
John and Stasi Eldredge

It's a must read. For a troubled marriage and even the not so troubled. It will cheer you on as you walk through your marriage and encourage you that the marriage you always dreamed of is completely reachable, and we can put Satan in his place while we do it.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


I have been busy this past week.

My husband has not.

I'm not sure where God's going with us right now, but as always I am trying to just trust Him.

I have been praying for work for my husband for the last year and now it is I that is getting offers for work.

This isn't what I had planned.
I want to be able to stay home and homeschool my 2 younger daughters.

Doesn't it seem a little cruel for me to be getting job offers right now when it's my husband who needs the work?
Does God really want me to put my daughters in public school?
Does He really want me to work more outside the home?
Am I being punished for being in such debt in the first place?
Why can't God just answer my prayers the way I pray them?

I know why He can't.
Because I am such a royal mess and I am not in control.
He is.
So I'm yet again trusting the plans He has for us. Faith is trusting when you don't see the answer ahead. I know this. I love having faith to rely on, not myself. It reminds me to stop trying to figure it all out and just enjoy the ride.

There seems to be some changes brewing in the air and I have no idea what I will do about some things.
But this I do know.
I love my Savior Jesus Christ and He loves me. When we first met our relationship was all about changes. Changes in me.
So yet again I will trust what it is He has in store for us.