Friday, June 4, 2010

Love & War. What I really learned.

I'm hoping this book did change my life. I know it did right this minute, but I'm hoping I still hold some of these lessons close, years from now.

Because the main thing I learned is that marriage is hard.
ok, I already knew that.

But even though I already knew that, it's like I've been waiting for it to get not hard.
It's just going to be hard. To the end.
I just need to learn how to deal with the harder times in a way that brings us through them, so that the better times are so wonderful they make you remember why your fighting for this marriage.

Their top 3 things that would most help a marriage.

1. Find life in God. 
2. Deal with your brokenness. 
3. Learn to shut down the spiritual attacks that come against your marriage.

I feel good about #1. I have found my life in God and Him alone. I thought maybe that was enough. And it is really, but marriage is such a unique amazing thing that there is just more to it.

I felt like I had dealt with my brokenness. Forgiving others, myself, moved on from it....But I never really put how my brokenness has made me deal with things. Things like fear, doubt, self reliance.....The way I deal with alot of things in my marriage are direct results from my brokenness and God wants me to change and deal with them the way He wants and knows is best.
This hurts and is hard. But the fact that He has opened my eyes to it, tells me I can do it.

I have always known that the enemy has wanted to attack my marriage. It's funny though before I read this book I thought the title, Love & War, was about a marrige that had love in it and war in it. The war they're talking about is the enemy.
He is waging a war against us. Constantly.
We forgot this a little bit. More often than not we have been fighting eachother instead of the enemy.

Satan hates marriage.
His first attack, was to destroy Adam and Eve's marriage.
That gave me chills when I read that.  When I realized it was all to destroy the marriage.

Praying together.

When your upset with your husband praying with him is the last thing you want to do with him.

Praying together is an intimate encounter; it will cultivate intimacy and companionship in your marriage--we are in this together.    It's like sex.
pg. 128

Wow, I never thought about how intimate praying together really is with your spouse. But it's so true. I know that when we have taken the moment to hold hands and bow are heads together and agree to pray and ask God what to do, it draws us so close. I always want to hug him or crawl in his lap and cling to him so that I don't lose this moment we're having.

I can see this is an area we need to work on. Making a conscience effort to bring everything to God right now. We are easily worked up when we are just trying to discuss the simplest of things, which is exactly satan's plan, so I'm hoping to realize this quicker and just stop and pray together. About everything.

Love & War
John and Stasi Eldredge

It's a must read. For a troubled marriage and even the not so troubled. It will cheer you on as you walk through your marriage and encourage you that the marriage you always dreamed of is completely reachable, and we can put Satan in his place while we do it.


mer@lifeat7000feet said...

I'm telling you, those Eldredges write good stuff. And they live it too.

I agree 100% about the enemy hating marriage. You know that John and I got away for several days last week, but what you don't know is that the stuff that went on prior to us leaving, while we were there, and even after we returned home WAS BRUTAL. I almost threw in the towel and gave up on going. In fact, I wrote a post about fighting for things you know are good and life-giving, but somehow I deleted it and I didn't have time to re-write it before we left.

Good for you for learning some new things and for letting God remind you of some things that aren't so new. Hang in there. Marriage is a gift to be enjoyed, treasured, and FOUGHT for.

Gretchen said...

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I wrote that post after all.

Well, maybe not, but...I could sure relate. I'll have to get this book. And even if my husband doesn't pray with me, he allows me to pray for him. That's enough for now.