Tuesday, June 1, 2010


I have been busy this past week.

My husband has not.

I'm not sure where God's going with us right now, but as always I am trying to just trust Him.

I have been praying for work for my husband for the last year and now it is I that is getting offers for work.

This isn't what I had planned.
I want to be able to stay home and homeschool my 2 younger daughters.

Doesn't it seem a little cruel for me to be getting job offers right now when it's my husband who needs the work?
Does God really want me to put my daughters in public school?
Does He really want me to work more outside the home?
Am I being punished for being in such debt in the first place?
Why can't God just answer my prayers the way I pray them?

I know why He can't.
Because I am such a royal mess and I am not in control.
He is.
So I'm yet again trusting the plans He has for us. Faith is trusting when you don't see the answer ahead. I know this. I love having faith to rely on, not myself. It reminds me to stop trying to figure it all out and just enjoy the ride.

There seems to be some changes brewing in the air and I have no idea what I will do about some things.
But this I do know.
I love my Savior Jesus Christ and He loves me. When we first met our relationship was all about changes. Changes in me.
So yet again I will trust what it is He has in store for us.


Gretchen said...

Was just reading about faith being sure of that which we can't see. Sounds like a great idea. Except when we obey enough to walk it. Then it's a hard idea. But no less great. xxxooo Praying for you.

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Faith is so hard. I really like the road map with my destination outlined and highlighted for me, but it doesn't seem like God ever works that way. I'll admit it frightens me when I can't see around the next bend.

Hang in there...I will pray for wisdom to discern between good and best. And for God to make the next few steps clear.

Teresa Henry said...

I have to first say...you are in no way being punished...God is taking your circumstance and giving you the provision you need to move out of the consequences you have found yourself in financially. God provides. God loves. God pushes in directions we didn't know we were going to be going. God loves and covers your kids no matter what. I just read that if what is in front of us is always easy it may not be from the Lord...and when God gives us things it is because he trusts us to be able to do it with His strength. You are strong in your faith and I know that God is rewarding you for that. Maybe right now because your hubby isn't trusting...and relying...God is going to show him how He provides through trust and faith by using you as the recipient.
Love you and praying for you...

Kellie said...

These three lovely ladies have said it all, so I will just say that I am praying. Hang in there friend! Someday you look back and see the fruit of this barren time. You are not alone, He is with you.

Irritable Mother said...

"Because I am such a royal mess and I am not in control."

Oh, sister. I'm right there with you!!!

BUT He can turn messes into things of beauty. Because HE is in control.

Trusting Him with you.

Much love,