Tuesday, August 24, 2010


I was trying to think about what I wanted to share about from my family vacation.

Most of the things seem too personal.

My Dad's drinking
My Dad and Step Mom bickering and arguing
Step brother being very ill
Niece going through a breakup
Worrying about my sister, yet celebrating a victory with her
My oldest daughter missing her friends and pouting the first few days
My middle daughter missing her swim meet
My youngest daughter.........

ohhh this one's good.......

We missed seeing everyone last year. My step brother and his family, we didn't get to see at all.
My nephew is 16 this year, so 2 years ago when we last saw him he was 14. Boys change alot from 14 to 16. I almost didn't recognize him. And my youngest daughter didn't recognize him at all.

They are 10 years apart but have still had one of those bonds that just draws you together. He is silly and crazy and active and has just always made her laugh. She usually just wants to follow him around, and he has always let her.

When we first got there and I told her to go say hi to him. She would not. He was tall and looked so different and had a really deep voice.
One night as we were all sitting around together after dinner, and she leaned over to me and whispered....
"Where's the real Drew?" 

In her mind this boy we kept calling Drew was not him. It was like she thought we had given her an imposter. She wanted her real cousin. The one she remembered.

Everyone thought it was so cute she had said that. We told him about it and I think he made more of an effort to spend time with her after that. And it didn't take long, after she finally gave him a chance, to see her laughing and following him around again.

It got me thinking about my own self. The real me. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror or a picture and I ask that same question. Where is the real me? Or I'll look at my sister or my Dad and feel concern for them, but after spending some one on one time with them, I find them. The real them. That part of ourselves that is the real us. Our hearts, humor, love, connection. It's all right there, no matter what's going on on the outside.

God knows the real me. He knows the real you. And He loves us.

Inspite of all the family drama I did find myself laughing more about it this year. Letting things go that sometimes linger in my mind and end up causing pain.
I'm so thankful for time with my sister and special moments with my family.


Mrs. Claus said...

Wow! This post is a good one! Thanks for sharing! I have been so busy I haven't had a chance to read you in a while. But I'm glad to be back and I'm glad you are back too!

God really does know the real us and it gives me chills sometimes that He loves me anyway.

Irritable Mother said...

Where is the real me?

O Mom! What a great question!!!

I want to live my life so this question will never need to be asked. But sometimes that's really hard.

It helps to know that God knows the real me. My time in Psalm 139 is really driving that point home. No need trying to hide anything from Him. And I don't want to hide it from anyone else, either.

Thanks for sharing these thoughts.

Kellie said...

I'm glad you were able to enjoy yourself, and see the positive things amidst the difficult.

Maya Angelou says: When you don't like your circumstances, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

That's what you did on vacation...you can't change those around you, but you changed your prospective...that's growth! Good for you!

Mommas Soapbox said...

I so get this post! Isn't it crazy how we can do that? Wonder who we REALLY are? Sometimes becoming a wife and a mom we can feel we have lost the REAL person we are. In fact I'm doing a series of posts right now on Finding and keeping your "Aloha". After having spent a month on Maui this summer it made me realize how relaxed and stressfree I was living there and I'm determined to keep it here. Taking a journey to live with less, be mindful of what God has provided me, get organized. Just live my best life. Live my Aloha.

Great post!