Monday, January 18, 2010

Walking

I have been walking with Jesus.
Lately He has been leading me down a path that I thought I already knew.

Turns out, Jesus has a different idea of victory than I do.

Sure my idea is pretty good, from the world's eyes.

But He wants so much more than pretty good. His plans for my life include so much more than just a happy, comfortable, feels good walk in the park.

His path is actually going somewhere.
Not just round and round the park.


There are some things I need to let go of. I thought I had been all this time, but clearly Jesus says I haven't. Not really. My heart or mind has still always kept some of my hands right on it.

Jesus says let go. Completely.

It's hard. Really hard.

I am a thinker. I like to figure everything out in my mind and then act.

But I'm just me and try as I might I can not figure everything or everyone out.

I feel like things are going to get worse before they get better. I have made a mess of my life that only Jesus and I can see.
But His eyes are enough.

He has been telling me for a long time to let go.

I have finally heard Him.

Now the actual letting go part? That's hard.

But so is knowing He wants something from me and not doing it.
That's just painful.

2 comments:

Irritable Mother said...

I am so sorry to hear that things are a mess right now!
But I know Jesus isn't afraid of messes. And I have confidence He can turn yours into something beautiful.
Yes. The transformation requires our obdeience. You are absolutley right! And the letting go is hard.
So hard.
But I have found the joy of obedience, the freedom that comes from doing His will, simply cannot be matched.
He has patiently waited for you to hear. He will wait for you to obey. And you will be blessed.

Father in heaven, I thank You for Your patience with O Mom. Goodness, I thank You for Your patience with ME!
I am asking You in this moment to strengthen her and give her the desire to fully trust You. And fully obey.
Thank You, God, for what You are doing in and through her during this trial. Thank You that You can make messes into something beautiful.
I come to You in the precious Name of JESUS.
Amen and amen!

Gretchen said...

Amen to Irritable Mom's prayer.

Jesus didn't come to save the folks who had it all together. I hear broken is where he works best. Hugs, friend.